It's started. Again. Same story, different kid. Just months after Max left the most annoying stage of infancy (for me) behind, that ticking clock of childhood has struck twelve with Lucia, and she has entered that twilight zone of toddlerhood: the stage of fall-to-the-ground screaming, writhing tantrums.Technically the terrible twos are still a good four months away. But apparently in France they start counting a bit earlier. I've heard it called "Les Dix-Huit Mois" here ("18 Months"), which gives French kids a full six months' start on American ones in the screaming fit arena. Whether this means that French parents are more in-touch with the timing of developmental stages, or whether being born on French soil somehow makes for earlier temper tantrums, the fact is that my kids both got "the fits" right smack inside their eighteenth month.
Lucia was an easier baby than Max. That first-child angst just wasn't there. She smiled. She laughed. She would sit and play by herself for more than five minutes at a time without having a separation meltdown. She's only said "no" probably twenty times in her life, whereas by this age Max had published his own book called "My Favorite Word 'No': How to Use It Effectively in Every Situation".
But it's like Lucia has suddenly been possessed by the spirit of a rabid badger. If you cross her, or if she doesn't get what she wants the split-second she thinks she's communicated her desire, she flings herself dramatically to the ground and begins writhing and kicking her feet against the floor with typewriter-key speed. And after she finishes, when the badger-spirit takes off, apparently, she gets this look on her face like "what just happened"? It's the craziest thing.In his day, Max developed temper tantrums into an art form. And like any other parent collecting their children's earliest masterpieces, I assembled his and called it "Max's Gallery O' Tantrums". Near the conclusion of his tantrum stage, I noticed something interesting. As soon as Max saw me running for my camera, he would stop the tantrum, get up, shoot me a withering look, and walk away.
So now I'm ready for Lucia. The above are the first two pieces in her very own Gallery. It will be interesting to see how long it takes for her to get sick of my documenting her every kick and scream. Although maybe she won't. From the looks of things, this might be her first step in a long and illustrious film-and-stage career.
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One of my all-time favorite books about Paris.
9 comments:
I feel your pain, Amy!
I think that your reaction is excellent: taking pictures of your children in the middle of a tantrum, that's a great idea!
I used to simply ignore my children when they would do it, or start laughing, that would calm them down right away ;)
Bienvenue au club Amy !
Scarlett est un peu en retard ou a un prénom d'origine américaine qui fait qu'elle vient, à presque 2 ans, de commencer sa "mutation" ! Elle ne se roule pas par terre (enfin, pas encore), mais jette tout ce qu'elle voit avec rage et hurle de manière super aigue !
On cherche encore la façon de la calmer :
- l'ignorer n'arrête pas ses cris,
- rire la vexe et n'arrange rien,
- la mettre dans sa chambre dans son lit et les cris redoublent,
- la prendre dans les bras, elle nous mets de coups !
Bref, je suis preneuse d'autres de solutions !
-"whereas by this age Max had published his own book called "My Favorite Word 'No': How to Use It Effectively in Every Situation"."
Fantastic, is there an ISBN for that?
I also love that you thought to take pictures! I are going through this right now with my 18 month old, so I sympathize. Allie does a little shimmy dance at the end of hers apparently to signify that she's changing back to her usual sweet self. Maybe the early start means they'll finish the terrible two's early as well.
I'll never forget the time our sweet, compliant first child had her "twos." It was at church in the nursery, and we were so horrified that she was in her "rage" in front of everyone, that we took her outside and tried to just hold her. One of the members of the church staff walked by and gave us this horrific look as if to say, 'Why are you restraining your child?" We'd have to go out and put her in the carseat to remove her from everyone and walk away about 10 feet or so and ignore her. She calmed down, but i still don't know if that was the best way to handle it in public. It ONLY happened in public with her. Oh, and there was the time she didn't want to leave McDonalds play place and we had to crawl up into the slide area to get her, which led to a royal screaming fit a la Lucia, total drama, with us carrying her to the car.
Dominick, on the ohter hand, got started way earlier than her and wouldn't reserve it for only public. It was at home all the time, too. He also pulled hair, bit children, you name it. I'll never forget the day (after I'd tried everything, called hotlines on caring for your children, etc) that I finally bit him back hard. He looked at me, dumbfounded, a hurt look on his face, and never did it again. Ah, the joys of early childhood! I promise it gets better! They get more sophisticated w/ their "tantrums," but it's easier to handle! :-)
Your daughter is adorable, even in the midst of a temper tantrum.
As you know, children (at least American ones -- maybe the French do have something on us) usually start having tantrums when they have about a 100-200 word vocabulary. The big problem is having some words, but not enough words yet. The result can be a tantrum.
However, you might want to start a trigger list for times when it isn't just frustration. What was she doing? What time of day? What day of the week? What had she just eaten? Who was she with? Where was she? It may be that the carpet in Aunt Grace and Uncle George's home upsets her system (I'm sure it's not Aunt Grace and Uncle George), or if she's late getting to nap time.
Once you have a list of tantrum triggers you can help prevent them and life is a lot easier.
Good luck! Hope your book deal is signed very quickly.
Judy Colbert
www.TuffTurtle.com/tantrums.htm
Temper Tantrum Common Sense Handbook
Poor little guy! It must be tough to have to have tantrums on a stone floor! Though not so tough as tantrums in a Tesco trolley, and many kids seem to manage that!
Louis is my second child and I have to say a great deal easier than his sister who started her terrible twos not long after birth and is just about getting over them now (she's 7). We are hoping to get a year's respite before pre-adolescence kicks in...Anyway, Louis the most easy-going, sweet little boy is no longer. He is 2 years and 3 months old and it would appear that he was kidnapped in his sleep by aliens who brain-washed him overnight. When he woke up on Friday not only was 'no' his mantra, but he now says it with such vehemence that I'm actually asking myself questions like "Am I really such a terrible mother to be inflicting clothes on my child in mid-winter? Does getting his nappy changed cause him terrible pain or what? Is my child sane? Where is Louis my sweet little boy?" Ignoring them is all very well, but when it's 8.20am and he's rolling on the floor so you can't get his coat on and the school gates (for the big one) close at 8.30am what do you do? Sometimes I think I'll just join him and throw a total wobbler too.
that is hilarious. im going to remember the camera trick for mine...snap em out of it. As long as they dont do it in public///....
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